Atlas Smirked

Statutory Warning: You might just identify with this rather agonic narrative of inefficient people inhabiting this planet that you still need to live with, however much you despise them!

This has been brewing inside me for quite some time now. I did not realize this much in my college days, even though I did spot it time and again. But it became more pronounced in my work life. Practically every day I come across some inefficient person or the other; I don’t mind him / her until it affects me, but I boil when I end up cleaning someone else’s act. And here’s what worse, they have the nerves to ask me to accept such inefficiencies as the way of life. I wonder what’s worse, their casual remarks (read DNA) or my impending correction, until I have no option, but to settle for the latter.

Why? In Lord’s name, why, in the first place? Why can’t they just do their simple jobs? Why can’t they just listen carefully, read properly, speak authoritatively (the way they do when they have ruined everything)? Why can’t they be accountable? Do any of their senses work? And please don’t give me the ‘overloaded’ crap. For Christ’s sake, they aren’t overloaded. Given their track record (I am super-confident, I am not the only victim of their inefficiency), I doubt if anyone would load them with any work at all. It would be quite a feat, even if they complete the most simplistic of tasks.

And it isn’t even about perfection. That’s a far cry. It’s purely about doing what you are supposed to do in a simple and quite often well laid out Standard-Operating-Procedure (SOP) way. Is it too much to ask? I guess the problem lies with their commitment. Or probably with their motivation. Irrespective of how they perform, they would be guaranteed a job until eternity, receive hikes and promotions eventually; if not, they will find some other place to bother someone else. I would feel blessed in that case, until the position is filled by some equally incompetent authority.

The problem however does not end with the irritation or the ensuing correction. You cannot afford to antagonize the person by suggesting the right approach; you cannot escalate the issue for fear of complete rebuke or even worse a total reversal of the assigned task. And should you dare to confront inefficiency, the next thing you know, you would be outcast from your office floor, for people around you believe the one with the loud voice more than the one with the right thoughts. That’s one aspect that these inefficient jerks are most adept at.

So what do I do? Unlike Ayn Rand’s characters in her legendary (and my all time favorite) ‘Atlas Shrugged’, I cannot disappear to an ‘Atlantis’. I do not care about the world, but I do care about the ‘world around me’. I do not hold the world, and I cannot afford to shrug, the least I can do to restore some pride is to look into their eyes, and just…..SMIRK! And of course, carry on with the clean-up, waiting expectantly for the next consignment of inefficiency.

A tale of two cities

Rome and Dubai – Rarely would you hear of these two cities in the same breath. Nor did I ever imagine that I would visit these on the same tour. Especially since they are so different, that there would be little common in the purpose of visiting them as well. While both are extremely popular tourist destinations, one would generally not travel to these on the same journey. Mine wasn’t too different; I was actually traveling to Rome and had a stop-over at Dubai. But even the 6-hour wait at the Dubai Airport was sufficient enough to inspire a blog on these two wonderful cities.

Just a two hour stroll around any part of Rome, and you’d know why it is called the Timeless City. So you find some historical monument or the other on one side of the road, and you also see a plush market teeming with activity on the other. It’s rare to find a road or a square that doesn’t have a fountain, a statue or a pillar; even obelisks for that matter. And the religious significance of the place, coupled with its rich history incessantly reminded me of some associated story or the other in Dan Brown’s books or some grand Hollywood movie (the Colosseum-Gladiator reference is just one such instance); unfortunately my bleak memory couldn’t always get the association perfectly.

But not so with my tour guide at the Vatican City. I haven’t verified the (apparent) facts he shared of the place, but I am told the St. Peter’s Basilica is tall enough to accommodate even the Statue of Liberty and wider than 2 football fields. The open area in front of its stairs can hold a gathering of 200,000 people – I guess there would be many more when the Pope waves out of the window (he pointed me to) each Sunday. It was amusing to know that the construction of the Basilica isn’t complete yet, even after 400+ years, and some modifications or restorations still continue behind these huge facades. Ironically, these are sponsored by large corporations in lieu of branding on the screen you see in the center.

Sounds familiar? Especially in the Indian context? Here’s another dose of familiarity, albeit of a different kind that the guide gave me. The symbol of the Vatican comprises of 2 keys, crossed at each other. He showed me the symbol atop the Basilica and thereafter (just as he had predicted), I could find it on every other building in the city. Interestingly, the top view (you would understand this if you studied engineering graphics) of the Basilica is in the shape of a key hole (does it ring?) and the space in front of the stairs, where visitors wait to catch a glimpse of the Pope signifies God’s embrace with the boundary walls representing the Lord’s arms. I guess the guide was also inspired by Dan Brown’s ‘The last symbol’ or vice-versa.

By the way, the Vatican City is a separate city state from Italy, with its own flag, currency, administration and security. So that makes it a tale of 3 cities! However, for the purposes of maintaining the association with Charles Dicken’s famous novel, I’d prefer retaining the title.

That brings me to the second city – Dubai! You can’t miss the view from the flight before it lands. Thankfully technology now allows you a view through the flight camera miles ahead and below the plane (and also alleviates any pain at not winning the window seat), but over Dubai you wish you had more. I can’t recall how many episodes of this city’s engineering marvels I have seen and re-seen on Discovery. And as I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, nothing fascinates me more than the sheer might of human engineering! And Dubai is a strong testimony to it. How else do you justify the Palm Islands – perfectly shaped islands created on no man’s sea?

One look at the Dubai skyline, and you know why the world’s celebrities invested their big bucks here and why thousands (probably millions) of others migrated there. If you still aren’t convinced, take a look at this donation box at the airport, and there were hundreds of these around or these Rolex sponsored clocks…as if to give a glimpse of the luxury brand that few can afford...I guess not so in Dubai though.

The long corridor of Emirates’ Terminal 3 is lined with hundreds of duty free shops on each side, selling zillions of aspirations, leaving you wonder how many years more would it take to just increase your credit limit, let alone your bank balance!

Just when your materialistic instincts begin to take over your practical (read real) financial situation, please take a moment to ponder over what the religious (and yet one of the richest organizations in the world) the Vatican recommends or the rather modest, yet respectful ways of living of the ancient Romans, and better sense will prevail! Go home with a box of chocolates and you won’t be fume at your credit card bill.

However before that, when in Rome, do what the other tourists there do. Visit the Trevi Fountain and flip a coin in it. Local legend says, flipping one coin would get you back here (and trust me, you would want to), two coins would get you married, and three would get you a divorce. As one wise man there noted, divorce is always expensive! I wonder how many Petro dollars the Sheikhs would toss in.

Cheeky lines apart, these two cities despite their huge age gap (I guess a few thousand years) are still the most visited in the world. Looks like the contemporary world admires modern cities as much as ancient one! Definitely applies to me. So until I travel to one of the medieval era - Arrivederci, ma'as-salama, alvida!