Vulnerable? Wonderful!

For all those who view stability as a virtue, sincere apologies; this post would not appeal to you. And for those who are always on the verge of tipping, rise and shine, this one’s an ode to your devil-may-care attitude. Vulnerability is indeed making waves across the world.


How often do you remember the guy who consistently performed well in school, versus the one who was constantly chided for his idiosyncratic questions? How many times do you speak of the one who was offered the highest pay package on campus, as against the one who always created a scene with his girlfriend? Moving to a different context, it’s more likely that you would recall an actor for his off-screen outbursts than his on-screen ones, or a sportsperson for his vengeful performances than his technically perfect ones. Time and again, the vulnerables have been more interesting subjects to speak about than the rather stable ones. Not that I have anything against the latter, it’s just that the former make for a far more interesting post.


Perhaps that’s the essence of all reality shows too, even social media probably. Anyone who’s seen Ashmit and Veena on Bigg Boss would vouch for their entertainment quotient. Who the hell wants to see a steady Samir Soni, when you have Ashmit and Veena launching verbal volleys at each other? Ditto for MTV Splitsvilla – it could very well be the home ground for vulnerable, wanna be models. That also explains the success of Emotional Atyaachaar. And no character a better bet to go viral on Facebook, Twitter or Youtube than a vulnerable one.


Doesn’t Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks make for an interesting read with his forever-on-the-run, Government-antagonizing stories? Or Shane Warne for his womanizing ways, as much as his winning ways. Most could have played it more diplomatically, more subtly, more carefully. But then that’s not the DNA of the vulnerables, right? Winning or losing (by their audience’s benchmarks) doesn’t matter to them. It’s not why they do what they do. Their definition and scale of victory is their very own. Always on the edge, always susceptible to danger, completely exposed to attack, forever restless – that’s the vulnerable for you!


So what is in it for them? Attention, of course. At any cost, for anything. Positive or negative. It does help further causes close to their hearts at times and sometimes their passions are contagious; at times they could even inspire a revolution. Most often it is the more casual, ‘I don’t care a damn’ attitude. No judgments here, but the carelessness does inflict as much pain on the victims, as damage for the vulnerables. But it’s only when they genuinely believe in whatever they do, that their following comes close to being a mass movement.


And what is it about such folks that make them so interesting, so mentionable, even memorable? One – their deep passion for their subject (the one that they are vulnerable for), two – the sheer unpredictability of what they would do next (and the certainty that they won’t disappoint you), and three – the opportunity they give you to place them on a pedestal one moment, and slide the ground beneath them next (come on, we like to destroy our heroes as much we enjoy ‘creating’ them, so eventually we can prove that they too are mortals, if not lesser, just like us)!


Love them; loathe them. Either ways, you can’t ignore them!

Oops! The cat’s out of the bag - The WikiLeaks Expose

Julian Assange is holding the attention of the world, not just the US authorities. Of course, he wouldn’t appreciate too much from the latter, especially since they seemed to have restricted his movement and funds more diligently than they have of hard core terrorists or international criminals in the past.


And why? Because now there is documented evidence that the US thinks of the Italian Prime Minister as “vain but ineffective”, or the French PM as an “emperor without clothes”? Quite interestingly, it compares Russian Medvedev and Putin to “Batman and Robin”, (I wonder now who the Tom and Jerrys are), and that Prince Charles lacks charisma! But didn’t the world already know all this? What’s new here? Just that it was documented by some American diplomat, and worse still the document came out.


It is like being chided by your big brother for exposing your school antics at home, when your parents have already heard it from the victims. At best the judgmental audience has now found a credible witness and some substantive evidence. But what the heck! Where’s the court? And who would dare try a superpower, let alone confront it? In the end, all the victim stands to gain is a rather useless, soft edge, considering that the big guy would be on (an apparent) guilt trip for the embarrassing words.


But boy, isn’t the scale of the leaks massive? Over 250,000 classified documents being released in batches. It is like slow poison. And with every drip some head is rolling in some part of the world, and another down in shame. But what’s surprising is the frenzy of activity on the sidelines of the release. It is almost like some fast-paced thriller straight out of a Hollywood studio or more relevantly Dan Brown’s books. Amazon has thrown WikiLeaks out from its servers (some say on Federal pressure) and the site’s domain is constantly changing. PayPal has suspended all funds to the account, and Assange is on the run for charges of rape. Yet the site appears time and again, releasing batch after batch of explosive documents, as Hillary Clinton apologizes to world leaders for the embarrassment.


And perhaps it is the embarrassment that is driving the search for Assange – embarrassment for the intelligence failure as much for the weird remarks. Not to mention that it is also motivated by some damage control. With less than half the documents causing so much damage, one can only imagine what the rest could do. Assange though is playing it safe, announcing an automatic release of all documents in the event of his arrest. How long he can manage that is questionable, irrespective of his notoriety of not spending 2 nights at the same place.


Anyways, as everyone debates whether what Assange and WikiLeaks did was right or wrong, I am sure each of us has harbored a secret desire to know some more ‘around-our-world’ secrets. Here’s my top 5 wish list, which while bordering on the paranoid, I would bet is something you have hoped for too:

• What do the powers that be at work think of me?...and this one has ample extrapolations possible to pretty classmates, co-workers, opportunistic acquaintances and in-laws!
• What was the true price of the apartment I booked?...very relevant to the offer made while accepting a new job offer too!
• The reality of reality shows
• Sheila ki jawaani – what’s the secret of those curves?...I am told Rajnikanth knows this!
• What are the judges of this (http://tinyurl.com/35lkhr8) contest really looking to while picking the winner? Fine, this is blatant self-promotion, but hey it’s my blog! Nevertheless, sincerely appreciate your vote on this one

So what is it that you would want WikiLeaks to expose for you? Feel free to comment here. And while you are at it, do have a look at what the Wikipedia page says of WikiLeaks here. Some very interesting facts (probably debatable too) that could as well inspire a movie! Also check out this collection of some very nice cartoons!

American Hangover

Nah! It’s not the Bourbon whiskey or Miami’s Martinis, it’s simply the heady cocktail of Orlando’s theme parks, Miami’s beaches and Key West’s scenic bridges that gave this American hangover; albeit a very pleasant one. Add a dash of New York’s bustling Times Square, and the perfect drink looked as tempting as it tasted.


My first trip to the US was well worth the long wait. It could have happened 7 years back, when I had admissions from US universities for an MS course, but I guess the experience was destined for now. And it took off, quite literally, on a roll at the Universal Studios in Orlando.


I am not a big fan of theme parks, especially the ones with scary rides (though I love the wet ones), but this one was very different. It looked straight out of all the comics I used to read as a kid. And it was not limited to the characters alone. From the rides to their ushers, and cafes to street shops, everything is inspired by legends of Universal’s magical creations. My favorite though is the Spiderman ride with 3D effects, especially the part where your cart slides down a high rise roof, only to be caught in the spider’s web just inches off the ground. The Sindabad show is another memorable one, but what caught my fancy most was the entire ambience of the place; it was mesmerizing. Check out a pic of this colorful place here:

Just about when you regret not budgeting more days at Universal Studios, you wish you had a week extra to tour all the 4 parks at Walt Disney World. Unfortunately, I had just 1 day and I tried to make the most of it in its Magic Kingdom park. Even before you enter the park, you can predict what it’s going to be like from Cinderella’s castle towering over tall trees and beautiful lakes on your drive over the monorail. And Disney World doesn’t disappoint you at all. But hold on to your camera battery until the evening when the castle is lit in all its glory (learn this from my mistake, and you’ll save yourself from your wife’s ranting). The best show here was Mickey's PhilharMagic that has all of Disney’s characters in a 3D movie. Never before have I seen Mickey, Donald Duck, Aladdin, Peter Pan and Little Mermaid, all in one movie. There are a number of other good rides (It’s a small world, Pirates of the Caribbean are just a few examples), each with excruciatingly long waiting times. However, every time you come out of one of these, you credit yourself dearly for your patience.


The Disney experience reaches its crescendo though at its character parade, rightly called, ‘Celebrate a dream come true’, and I am sure most folks who see this promise themselves to come back to watch it again with their kids, and budget permitting, even leading it with their family on the vintage car. Since my camera battery ran out, I couldn’t record it; thankfully someone else was smarter to capture this video:

If Walt Disney World was my childhood dream come true, Miami is a true adult fantasy! Yup! While what you just imagined is right, the place is good for some un-adulterated (pun, completely intended) fun too! One of the few places, where you can delight all your senses. Miles of beaches to get that perfect tan for your skin, the most beautiful of automotive and human babes (in that order) for your eyes, delicious food and cocktails, and Spanish / Latino music – the kinds one doesn’t quite understand, yet peppy enough to get even the most boorish guys dancing! Not to mention the tall buildings and beautiful (also read aspirational) island mansions of the rich and famous. Not surprisingly, the guide showed us around one of the most expensive ones that belonged to the inventor of the wonder pill!

Just as groovy Miami is, Key West is equally laid back. I noted in one of my previous blogs that I enjoy the journey as much as the destination, and the drive to Key West is one of the most beautiful one would come across.





Crossing over 42 bridges (including one that stretched 7 miles, aptly called the 7-mile bridge) and 34 islands, Key West is the southern most point of the US, but by no means its lowest tourist attraction.

It’s got a certain Carribean flavor, and anyone who has been to Goa would instantly compare it with the latter. It is a very popular destination for water sports, boasts of the only living coral reefs in the US, and is known for its famous Conch train. Para sailing over the Atlantic Ocean at Key West is as chilling as its local draft beer!


Moving on from laid back Key West to back breaking New York, though not really in that order. On my onward journey (Bangalore to Orlando), I had a 6 hour stop at New York. On any other occasion, I would have utilized this to catch up on my favorite pastime - sleeping. But a fellow passenger (the ever helpful conversationalists that one generally despises on a long flight) advised that I would be better off using the time to see downtown Manhattan and the famous Times Square. Thankfully, I followed his advice. Times Square actually looks just as it does in Karan Johar’s movies. It has the same busy city buzz and is full of electronic billboards. However, what they don’t show in the movies (or at least we don’t feel) is that it is far cooler; in fact freezing! I was shivering so much that I could barely hold my camera steady and even the bland Starbucks coffee didn’t help here. But then the buzz in these big cities such as New York, London and Mumbai is the kind that inspires movies, books and music galore! 

I was wondering how I could ever thank this gentleman who pushed my decision to tour New York despite the rush to get back to the airport on time. As luck would have it, he was on the same flight (in fact the same row) while returning too and I made it a point to thank him, though only once we landed! Also profusely thanked the guy who used my memory card in his camera (after my battery fiasco) to click this pic at Disney World, indeed cherishing a dream come true!

Diwali Déjà Vu – My favorite ads of the festive season!

Diwali has always been the most critical ‘event’ for Indian marketers and I am sure you have seen these ads previously. That’s precisely why they evoke a sense of déjà vu. But it’s not just the creative aspect of these ads, but their excellent timing that takes them to the next level. Or perhaps the fact that these have been crafted with such simplicity, relating day-to-day events that you can identify with, in the process instantly appealing to your heartstrings.

Here are my favorite ones of the past few Diwalis. Thought I’d share these with you too. Sadly, I didn’t like any of the current ones to the extent of mentioning on this blog.

This one takes the cake though! My favorite, especially the part where the guy holds a placard, “Need to be home for Diwali” and the tag line, “India comes home in a Maruti Suzuki”. It’s almost as if Shri Ram has come home to Ayodhya, this Diwali! Watch out for its music track, it slowly grows on to you!

Wish you and your loved ones A Very Happy Diwali And A Prosperous New Year!

Please vote for my video - Support a free global economy

Request your support on getting votes for a video contest that I enrolled in. It is called the ‘Atlas Shrugged Video Contest’ and is based on the book, ‘Atlas Shrugged’ (my all time favorite) by Ayn Rand. The idea is to create a video that captures the ethos of the book, while maintaining its relevance in the contemporary world. I used the current theme of the Obama administration’s anti-outsourcing policy and created a video on supporting a free global economy just as the protagonist of Atlas Shrugged advocates in the book.

This is a completely original piece of work that I created and this mail or the contest is not spam (call me on +91 9611 452525 if you wish to confirm). The contest demands votes and I request you to have a look at my entry. If you like the video and the theme, please log in to your Facebook account, click on http://tinyurl.com/35lkhr8 scroll down and click on the “Vote” button to the right.

Given our generic penchant for campaigning, I’d be grateful if you could also promote my video with your family and friends. You can do so by clicking the “Share” button next to “Vote”. Please note that merely clicking on the “Like” link on Facebook, YouTube or any other site will NOT be considered a “Vote”; voters need to click the “Vote” button.

Appreciate your support!

Cheers!

Milesh

Atlas Smirked

Statutory Warning: You might just identify with this rather agonic narrative of inefficient people inhabiting this planet that you still need to live with, however much you despise them!

This has been brewing inside me for quite some time now. I did not realize this much in my college days, even though I did spot it time and again. But it became more pronounced in my work life. Practically every day I come across some inefficient person or the other; I don’t mind him / her until it affects me, but I boil when I end up cleaning someone else’s act. And here’s what worse, they have the nerves to ask me to accept such inefficiencies as the way of life. I wonder what’s worse, their casual remarks (read DNA) or my impending correction, until I have no option, but to settle for the latter.

Why? In Lord’s name, why, in the first place? Why can’t they just do their simple jobs? Why can’t they just listen carefully, read properly, speak authoritatively (the way they do when they have ruined everything)? Why can’t they be accountable? Do any of their senses work? And please don’t give me the ‘overloaded’ crap. For Christ’s sake, they aren’t overloaded. Given their track record (I am super-confident, I am not the only victim of their inefficiency), I doubt if anyone would load them with any work at all. It would be quite a feat, even if they complete the most simplistic of tasks.

And it isn’t even about perfection. That’s a far cry. It’s purely about doing what you are supposed to do in a simple and quite often well laid out Standard-Operating-Procedure (SOP) way. Is it too much to ask? I guess the problem lies with their commitment. Or probably with their motivation. Irrespective of how they perform, they would be guaranteed a job until eternity, receive hikes and promotions eventually; if not, they will find some other place to bother someone else. I would feel blessed in that case, until the position is filled by some equally incompetent authority.

The problem however does not end with the irritation or the ensuing correction. You cannot afford to antagonize the person by suggesting the right approach; you cannot escalate the issue for fear of complete rebuke or even worse a total reversal of the assigned task. And should you dare to confront inefficiency, the next thing you know, you would be outcast from your office floor, for people around you believe the one with the loud voice more than the one with the right thoughts. That’s one aspect that these inefficient jerks are most adept at.

So what do I do? Unlike Ayn Rand’s characters in her legendary (and my all time favorite) ‘Atlas Shrugged’, I cannot disappear to an ‘Atlantis’. I do not care about the world, but I do care about the ‘world around me’. I do not hold the world, and I cannot afford to shrug, the least I can do to restore some pride is to look into their eyes, and just…..SMIRK! And of course, carry on with the clean-up, waiting expectantly for the next consignment of inefficiency.

A tale of two cities

Rome and Dubai – Rarely would you hear of these two cities in the same breath. Nor did I ever imagine that I would visit these on the same tour. Especially since they are so different, that there would be little common in the purpose of visiting them as well. While both are extremely popular tourist destinations, one would generally not travel to these on the same journey. Mine wasn’t too different; I was actually traveling to Rome and had a stop-over at Dubai. But even the 6-hour wait at the Dubai Airport was sufficient enough to inspire a blog on these two wonderful cities.

Just a two hour stroll around any part of Rome, and you’d know why it is called the Timeless City. So you find some historical monument or the other on one side of the road, and you also see a plush market teeming with activity on the other. It’s rare to find a road or a square that doesn’t have a fountain, a statue or a pillar; even obelisks for that matter. And the religious significance of the place, coupled with its rich history incessantly reminded me of some associated story or the other in Dan Brown’s books or some grand Hollywood movie (the Colosseum-Gladiator reference is just one such instance); unfortunately my bleak memory couldn’t always get the association perfectly.

But not so with my tour guide at the Vatican City. I haven’t verified the (apparent) facts he shared of the place, but I am told the St. Peter’s Basilica is tall enough to accommodate even the Statue of Liberty and wider than 2 football fields. The open area in front of its stairs can hold a gathering of 200,000 people – I guess there would be many more when the Pope waves out of the window (he pointed me to) each Sunday. It was amusing to know that the construction of the Basilica isn’t complete yet, even after 400+ years, and some modifications or restorations still continue behind these huge facades. Ironically, these are sponsored by large corporations in lieu of branding on the screen you see in the center.

Sounds familiar? Especially in the Indian context? Here’s another dose of familiarity, albeit of a different kind that the guide gave me. The symbol of the Vatican comprises of 2 keys, crossed at each other. He showed me the symbol atop the Basilica and thereafter (just as he had predicted), I could find it on every other building in the city. Interestingly, the top view (you would understand this if you studied engineering graphics) of the Basilica is in the shape of a key hole (does it ring?) and the space in front of the stairs, where visitors wait to catch a glimpse of the Pope signifies God’s embrace with the boundary walls representing the Lord’s arms. I guess the guide was also inspired by Dan Brown’s ‘The last symbol’ or vice-versa.

By the way, the Vatican City is a separate city state from Italy, with its own flag, currency, administration and security. So that makes it a tale of 3 cities! However, for the purposes of maintaining the association with Charles Dicken’s famous novel, I’d prefer retaining the title.

That brings me to the second city – Dubai! You can’t miss the view from the flight before it lands. Thankfully technology now allows you a view through the flight camera miles ahead and below the plane (and also alleviates any pain at not winning the window seat), but over Dubai you wish you had more. I can’t recall how many episodes of this city’s engineering marvels I have seen and re-seen on Discovery. And as I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, nothing fascinates me more than the sheer might of human engineering! And Dubai is a strong testimony to it. How else do you justify the Palm Islands – perfectly shaped islands created on no man’s sea?

One look at the Dubai skyline, and you know why the world’s celebrities invested their big bucks here and why thousands (probably millions) of others migrated there. If you still aren’t convinced, take a look at this donation box at the airport, and there were hundreds of these around or these Rolex sponsored clocks…as if to give a glimpse of the luxury brand that few can afford...I guess not so in Dubai though.

The long corridor of Emirates’ Terminal 3 is lined with hundreds of duty free shops on each side, selling zillions of aspirations, leaving you wonder how many years more would it take to just increase your credit limit, let alone your bank balance!

Just when your materialistic instincts begin to take over your practical (read real) financial situation, please take a moment to ponder over what the religious (and yet one of the richest organizations in the world) the Vatican recommends or the rather modest, yet respectful ways of living of the ancient Romans, and better sense will prevail! Go home with a box of chocolates and you won’t be fume at your credit card bill.

However before that, when in Rome, do what the other tourists there do. Visit the Trevi Fountain and flip a coin in it. Local legend says, flipping one coin would get you back here (and trust me, you would want to), two coins would get you married, and three would get you a divorce. As one wise man there noted, divorce is always expensive! I wonder how many Petro dollars the Sheikhs would toss in.

Cheeky lines apart, these two cities despite their huge age gap (I guess a few thousand years) are still the most visited in the world. Looks like the contemporary world admires modern cities as much as ancient one! Definitely applies to me. So until I travel to one of the medieval era - Arrivederci, ma'as-salama, alvida!

Main ‘Zandu balm’ hui...Err! I guess ‘pain reliever’ huin, darling tere liye!

So here’s what provoked this blog. I watched Dabaang last weekend and came out mesmerized with the ‘Main Zandu Balm hui, darling tere liye’ number. No, it wasn’t because of Malaika Arora Khan, rather it was ‘Zandu Balm’ that I realized is such an iconic brand for all pain relievers that it inspired even an item number in a mainstream Hindi movie. It’s almost as if Zandu balm is a generic name for all products that relieve pain.

And this isn’t the only Indian brand that has achieved this status. Amul Butter is another one. I still find paav bhaaji thelas that serve Amul Paav Bhaaji as a distinct item on their menu. They even display empty cartons of Amul Butter on their carts as if to prove that they indeed use this brand of butter. Even if they weren’t they would still use the brand association, because of its perceived generalization as a product rather than just one of the labels that offer this product.

Consider Volvo buses that symbolize the luxury bus category in India. From state transport companies to private travel firms, all of them have tagged their brands with Volvo. So you have a ‘Neeta Volvo’ that plies the Pune-Mumbai-Pune route as a ‘Volvo’, and you also have the state transport run Shivneris and the private Metrolinks that also ferry on the same route as ‘Volvos’. Bear in mind that they do not claim to offer ‘luxury / comfortable road travel from Pune to Mumbai and back’, they simply offer a ‘Volvo’! And what’s more, I have even heard travelers demand Metrolink’s ‘Neeta Volvo’ versus any other ‘Volvo’! I am sure the Neeta Volvo proprietor would be mighty pleased at having created such a cult brand.

Surely there isn’t any other ego boost needed for a marketer when his consumers start demanding its brand name for the product category. And what better a testimony to this than the LIC Chairman’s recent interview, wherein he proudly states that his customers often ask each other, “Car ka LIC kiya kya?” (Have you LICed your car?) to imply buying an insurance for their cars – from a brand that’s actually known for ‘life’ insurance, and not as much for ‘general / vehicle’ insurance.

It’s the same case with Band Aid – I didn’t even know what its product category called, until I researched for this blog (btw, its website calls it ‘brand adhesive bandages’…Isn’t ‘Band Aid’ simpler?). Anyways, I simply ask the chemist for Band Aid and walk out with whichever brand of ‘Band Aid’ he offers. Ditto for Dettol’s ‘antiseptic liquids’. You would probably recall Bajaj as the only scooters or Kinetics as the only step-through, automatic-geared mopeds, even though LML also offered the former; and now of course Bajaj has discontinued its scooters completely. Then there is the legendary ‘Jeep’, that’s actually an SUV brand and not every Mahindra vehicle is a ‘Jeep'.

Some brands get so stuck to their categories that it’s difficult to give up their association even when you come across similar alternatives. For example, a visitor to our family store asked me for red colored Colgate toothpaste, while pointing towards Close-Up. While it could have to do with the person’s brand awareness or literacy levels, the confusion manifests itself even in the more urban populace. After moving to Bangalore, I inadvertently kept asking for directions to ‘Pune Central’, or reading ‘Pune Times’ for some time; in the process, being ridiculed for my Puneri hangover and often jeered for my (apparent) jingoism.

There are enough illustrations of international brands that became generic, Xerox being my favorite for photocopiers; however in the interest of blowing my marketing trumpet, I’d prefer recounting a tale of one that I created. This was for the services business of a company that I worked for. We created brands for some distinct service packages, with the most comprehensive one termed, ‘Service 360°’. The high point was when one of our customers demanded a ‘Service 360°’ from our competition; I was supremely elated. The experience comes a close second to one where a pretty girl riding pillion on someone else’s bike steals a glance at you. So much to flatter the male ego (in this case) and the professional one in the former :)

But what is it that creates such strong brands that achieve generic status? Amongst others, here are some critical ones:

• First Movers: Distinct advantage. Period. Amul Butter was definitely the first to brand butter on a national scale, long before the Britannias and Nestles dished out theirs
• Protectionist Policies: Not anymore, in this day and age of globalization. However, this was one ace up the brand sleeve of the license era when Bajajs and Marutis dominated Indian roads
• Consistent Messaging: This one merits a separate blog; in the interest of brevity, I can simply add that butter wouldn’t have been ‘Amul Butter’ if it weren’t for the utterly, butterly billboard campaigns that consistently associated it with contemporary issues. Like this one that incidentally links paav bhaaji with the Harbhajan Singh slapping S Sreesanth episode with Amul Butter. Truly delicious!

So here’s to these iconic generic brands (the oxymoron surely flatters)! It won’t be long before Malaika endorses Zandu Balm. After all she is also pretty well down the path as ‘the’ item number girl, not to mention her dance moves that indeed relieve all pain and suffering from this inhuman world. Try it yourself; watch this video – Munni badnaam hui, darling tere liye!

Simply BE

It’s yet another of those days; thankfully! Quiet, yet bustling with activity; twilight, yet illuminated; unplanned, yet looking ahead to the week to come; alone, yet with the entire world in my lens. In a life so hectic and so well scheduled (more out of compulsion rather than habit), I seldom get a moment that I can call my own…all by myself…my space.

6:00 pm, refreshed after a good Sunday siesta, a cup of ginger tea by my balcony railing, comfortably seated on my jute and wood throne, addressing my digital audience – life doesn’t get better than this. Perhaps it is the din of kids playing downstairs or the sound of drums playing somewhere not so distant, or just the auto revving through the society gate, maybe the pressure cooker’s whistle from someone’s kitchen or the slight hum of an evening prayer…whatever it is, I am loving every moment of this melee of extremely disparate chords.

And then there are the voices within me. What am I going to do next this evening? Am I going out for dinner? Or just grab a movie at home? Catch up with friends online or call folks back home? What’s the plan at work this week? Which page did I leave the last book I was reading? Chuck it dude…I’ll continue gazing through the balcony.

It’s almost impossible to articulate such moments. When you have nothing to do, or even remotely planned for. No timelines, no deliverables, no commitments, no accountability, none to respond, neither to hear, nor to watch, much less to understand. When you can simply BE.

The only thing that comes perhaps close to such moment is the destination-less drive that I sometimes indulge in. When you can just soak in everything that’s around you without judging it, when it’s not important that you reach some place at a specified time to do a specific activity. When you just let Kishore Kumar and the road drive you, rather than the route and the small watch on your dashboard.

It is such moments that make the week’s grind worth it. Every now and then, you need a pit stop to recharge yourself before you are back on your daily track, racing towards the finishing line, hoping you’d be uncorking the champagne on the podium once you win. And of course, you anxiously look forward to the next one post that.

For now, I’d prefer ignoring all that and simply savor this moment. Simply BE.

Ganpati Bappa Morya!

There’s something about the Ganesh festival that excites me each year. Earlier it is used to be the prospect of a night-out doing the rounds of various mandals across the city, later the delight of checking out the decorations, subsequently the belief in the Lord, and today simply nostalgia of having missed out on the festivity.
Here in Bangalore, I see a number of Ganesh idols on display along the streets and families flocking to pick the one of their choice to install in their homes. But the ‘Ganpati Bappa Morya’ chorus while taking him home is missing. Nor did I notice any huge pandals with super-size idols, blaring stereos or the generous spread of gulal anywhere.

Back home in Pune, I am sure it would be a completely different scene. Roads must be blocked (not really a surprise anymore), they must be lined with lights, adorned by Shah Rukh Khan posters selling Airtel, pavements full of make-shift counters vending vada paav…and of course huge pandals with serpentine queues of devotees waiting patiently for their turn to offer their prayers to the Lord. There was a time when I wondered how disturbing it must be for the local residents. These days it is pretty well regulated though and most mandals shut abide by the deadline. Some years back it was utter chaos, but I enjoyed it even then.

More so, my marketing stint over the past few years makes me wonder at Lokmanya Bal Gangadhar Tilak’s vision to create an event out of a seemingly mundane ritual. Conceived as an event to bring people together to spread the message of independence, pulling on the heart strings of devotion, it looks like an ideal case study on disseminating your message to the masses in a very entertaining, relevant environment. Decades later, it continues to inspire marketers with the perfect medium to target their campaigns and for some ad-hoc, small time entrepreneurs to try their hand at some rapid, low investment, high return business.

Professional inspiration apart, the festival has become quite a ritual for me. Every year, I visited at least the 5 maanache Ganpati mandals of Pune and any others with interesting decorations / acts along the route. Not to mention the daily trip to my grand parents’ place since they maintained the idol during the 10 day festival. Aah…and those mouth watering modaks that my aunt made! It’s surprising how much we miss things after we lose them. I doubt if I would find them in Bangalore anytime soon.

Hey, but I am not the only one at loss. I know my folks would miss me as well. I accompanied my grandfather as we handed our idol for immersion on the final day. Man that was one procession that one has to experience at least once in a lifetime. Imagine thousands (probably tens of them) of Puneites and probably an equal number of tourists from around filling up the streets, up on terraces of adjoining buildings, settled with shawls and even mattresses on the stairs leading to shops…all jostling with each other to catch a glimpse of the group dancing ahead of the chariot carrying the Lord. And it’s a pretty unique dance form as well. Half of the people there have never danced in their life and this is their only opportunity to show off their skills, which gives it it’s very own identity! And then there’s the sudden uproar whenever a popular group / mandal approaches.

Sure I miss all this excitement this year. In the same vein, I know Bangalore would have its own version of the festival and I will definitely try to catch up on it. If not this one, I am looking forward to some similar fervor during the Dasherra festival in Mysore. I am told that’s one not to miss. Hopefully, I should be able to post a travelog on that one soon.

Until then I have to make do by offering my prayers online. Even Gods have got pretty hi-tech these days; I recall seeing a credit card swiping machine at Dagdusheth Ganpati few years back for devotees wanting to donate in plastic money. I am sure they have now progressed to social media and I can find my favorite God’s FaceBook profile now. Hope to thank Him there; He’s been with me, always.

Ganpati Bappa Morya! Mangal Murti Morya!

The Gantt chart of life

For those who aren’t aware of Gantt chart, check out this Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gantt_Chart A Gantt chart is a type of a bar chart that illustrates a project schedule. I learnt it in engineering, used it at work, but am amused at its application in life.

Here’s what prompted the thought in the first place. Yesterday, two of closest friends shared one of their happiest moments (each); something that would indeed qualify for a phase-of-life-complete-element in their respective lives.

One of them celebrated his house warming and anyone who has ever purchased a home would know the pain one goes through in scouting for one, running around for loans first and then on doing up the place later. Not to mention the constant pressure of managing finances so you can at least afford a weekend movie, if you indeed find time for it eventually. But in the end, I am sure it’s worth it. At least that’s what my friend feels, and I would echo that.

But more importantly, it marks the end of a wandering phase that’s become the hallmark of most Indian working class immigrant population. More the time you live in rented accommodation, more your urge to own one. So you start your hunt for the perfect abode, visit loan fairs, postpone vacations to accumulate some down payment money, wait endlessly for the builder to give you possession and even more for the interior decorator to spruce your home up……At the end of it all, when you finally move in, phew, you are exhausted and glad that this “phase” of your life is complete more than the fact that this was what the dream you harbored for the past 2-3 years. Now that the “home” phase is over, here’s looking forward to the next one.

That reminds me of my second friend who announced yesterday that he is starting a family. Family? Dude, it was just a few years back when we used to crib of babies crying in theatres and cursing their parents who brought them there in the first place. I poked him about his rationale for the decision, and I must admit it was a very well thought-out one.

His joy apart, I can’t ignore that he already owns a home, so he is over with the “home” phase, and now in for a new (albeit noisy, weepy, expensive) one. The due date is still a few months away, and I am not sure whether on D-day, he will be relieved that all the months of care are over, concerned about more to come or simply revel in the celebrations. Whatever it is, it will mark the beginning of a new phase for him. Time to tick one more phase complete and plan towards a new one.

What is it that keeps us seeking one phase after another: graduation-post_graduation-career-bike-car-marriage-home-family-family’s_education-the_cycle_repeats_for_them-finally_retirement_when_most are_unsure_of_what_to_do_next? It’s almost like project management on a Gantt chart. The phases run parallel for some people, sequential for others, come with gaps for most. Some of them run pretty long, often frustrating to the extent that at the end of it, you are relieved it’s finally over. But for the lucky few, it’s like nirvana! And they fret once it’s over, because they enjoyed the phase more than its outcome,

But are these phases simply something to look forward to, something that keeps us going, something eventful in an otherwise mundane life or simply nature’s rules meant to be followed? Whatever they are, I know enough people who plan these quite well and a lot of others who take them as they come. I guess, to each his own.

Your freedom ends where my nose begins

I just came back from the Independence Day’s celebrations in my society and was pleasantly surprised with the enthusiasm of folks waiting patiently with their kids for the flag hoisting ceremony. Most dressed in traditional Indian clothes, flag in hand, kid on shoulder – one couldn’t have, but appreciated their fervor. And typical with most things Indian, the enthusiasm was contagious – the herd mentality drove a lot of onlookers (including me) to check out the function, and pay homage to those who sacrificed their lives, so we could wave our flags on Facebook, air our opinions freely on blogs, and tweet without restraint. The function reminded me of the Independence Day celebrations in school and college, where attendance was compulsory. Ironically, we were celebrating freedom but were dictated to do so by the management.

Patriotic songs, drills and dances apart, one thing that I still recall from previous Independence Day celebrations is a story that our school Rector, Father Ronnie narrated during one such Independence Day.

Here’s how it goes:

On August 15, 1947, the day India gained independence, a young man was strolling down a street, whistling, beaming with joy, waving a stick in his hand. Naturally, the carelessly waved stick hurt a lot of people passing him. But he wasn’t really bothered. For him, his new-found freedom meant he could do anything he wished. On one such occasion, his stick hit an old man’s nose. The old man asked him to control it. But the young guy was not the one to take such advice kindly, especially on Independence Day and retorted, “Old man, perhaps you are not aware, but we are a free country now. I am free to do anything I want”. To which the senior replied, “You are correct son, you are free. But your freedom ends, where my nose begins”.

This story that I heard more than 10 years back is perhaps all the more relevant today. We live in a much open world, where our every action is under scrutiny. And there are enough moral police that preach Indian culture without understanding its essence. While democracy does give everyone the freedom to speak and do what they wish, it does not advocate blatant encroachment of personal privacy.

There is a big difference between discipline and dictats from a handful few. If some political groups believe Valentine’s Day celebration is an act of indiscipline, is trashing women in public any better? Why should shopkeepers be asked to pull down their shutters in peak business seasons, just because someone was not disciplined enough to relieve himself outside a place of worship? Simply because 15 guys with loud voices stand together with a flag in hand, while others are dispersed behind pillars and lamp posts? Indeed there is strength in numbers (that’s what gave us our freedom in the first place), but that does not give the numbered few the right to tell others what they should (or should not) do unless it’s hurting them. Why can’t we just mind our own business?

Lord Mahaveer said, “Live and let live”, and as long as our actions do not bother anyone, that’s fine. To me, that’s freedom – the power to decide for myself. To select the stream of engineering I want to, to decide my career, to marry the person I want to, to celebrate festivals and days that I want to. In the same vein, it cannot come at the cost of causing pain to others. What’s the point in celebrating Ganesh festival, when patients in a hospital en-route the procession are in pain from the loud noise? Would Lord Ganpati really bless you for bothering his devotees? How many drivers would congratulate you on your wedding after you block traffic with your baraat?

Guys, your freedom indeed ends where my nose begins. And for the Hollywood-awed, here’s a slightly tweaked quote from your favorite superhero, “With great freedom, comes great responsibility".

Jai Hind!

We shall overcome…someday!

The controversy surrounding the Commonwealth Games has put us in a dharmasankat of sorts…We want to hang the corrupt officials – and we already are doing that through the media…which by the way is viewed by the world…that further puts us to shame. At the same time, the games are so near that we need the very same officials to pull the event through. I doubt if Lord Krishna could read a solution from the Bhagwad Geeta to such a quandary; the way he offered one to Arjuna at Kurukshetra.

Nonetheless, as we flip through the plethora of news channels and their over-eager reporters debating the ‘common’ and the ‘wealth’ issues, one thing is clear – come hell or high water, we have to pull the games through. Two recent events really caught my eye on this subject. One was an appeal from Subrata Roy Sahara to fellow media to exercise caution while reporting the misappropriations in the light of global visibility (and ensuing national shame) and the other was a pretty casual remark by a games official on national television.

I must note Subrata’s appeal was extremely mature. It takes guts to defy trends and appeal to the media to postpone their ire post the games; though I doubt how much it resonated with an audience that’s well aware that the issue would die a natural death later and hardly garner any TRPs once the games are over. Nonetheless, a brave request from someone who runs a media house himself. Let’s see if his channels practice what he has preached.

The second was a debate on one of the leading channels about the entire issue. A games official, who could not think of better responses to all the allegations, only had one thing to offer – “…eventually we will overcome all obstacles and the games will be successful”. Yes. We shall overcome…or as they would hum in New Delhi, ‘Hum honge kamyaad’… When? ‘Ek din’! Hopefully on October 3rd, when the games kick off.

For whatever reason, the ‘we shall overcome’ philosophy seems ingrained in our DNA. Why do we always scramble towards the deadline? Why can’t we plan in advance? Why don’t we allocate resources suitably so as not to put pressure on the available ones? While we eventually overcome obstacles, it does boil a lot of blood in the process.

And that applies not just to events of national pride, but to every small thing that all of us experience. We complete our engineering projects just in time for submission. We never hire specialists for critical jobs; did you hire a wedding planner? I didn’t, but I am sure if I had, it would have saved my parents, uncles and cousins a bit of last minute running around. We make do (the great Indian jugaad) with whatever and whoever’s available. We run about organizing college fests and company events with a madness (and of course passion) that grows exponentially as we approach deadlines. Have we ever seen a linear activity-versus-time graph? Even in cricket, we get off to a great start, slumber in the middle overs and eventually win in the last over. We have a penchant for making even the most lopsided matches interesting…maybe it’s got something to do with the bookies. But more often than not to our ‘chalta hai’ attitude.

Yes, we do overcome; but how? Our quality suffers at the expense of ‘simply delivering’. And we blatantly pat our backs for overcoming ‘despite hurdles’; but why do we need to plant those hurdles in the first place? We can easily cruise through if we build a smooth track. Some efficient project management is all we need. But I guess the last minute rush drives our adrenaline up; we love to be pushed against the wall, so we can emerge victorious and flaunt our despite- hurdles-win. Maybe if everything goes on smoothly, the recognition would be milder. But this does affect our credibility in the long run. Predictability and consistency are as important as the one-off wins if we are to be given an opportunity to repeat those.

On the positive side, the ‘we shall overcome’ attitude has helped us as well. The IPL South Africa edition is a classic illustration. When the tournament was in jeopardy over security organizations that were (rightfully) assigned on elections duty; we relocated it to South Africa within 20 days. Man, imagine doing that to an NFL or the European League and you will see every organizer put their hands up in impossibility. But the BCCI did pull it off; and in style!

For now, let’s hope we really overcome the Common Wealth Games. For deep in my heart, I do believe, we shall overcome some day! Suggestions to overcome are pouring in from all quarters and one that particularly amused me is that to hand over the event organization to the Indian army. Ironically, that’s a testimony to the emergency situation we have placed ourselves in. And in army parlance, that does call for work on a war footing (as most news headlines describe). Hmmnnnn…..the metaphors fit in so perfectly! Enjoy this illustration as you recommend a few as well; click on the image to see it clearly:

Common ties…that still bind

Have you ever experienced how much you are at ease when you meet a new person with a common tie? All of us are constantly on the lookout for common ties – whether we are in a new city, a new job, with a new group, even on social networking sites. We search for ‘that’ something common with the new person. At times it is merely to strike a conversation, at others to establish a comfort level, and at most times to get over our own apprehensions.

So we go all out to find the common link. ‘Hey, I stayed in Pune as well’, ‘I studied in the same school’, ‘I worked for that company (that of course is accompanied by some common grudges)’…are some of the most common ties I came across. Not to mention the countless instances when people speak in their mother tongues as soon as they hear a surname, common to their community. I recall an episode when one of my colleagues called up some customer and after the first 2 courtesy exchanges in English, asked if he was a Malayalam. Looks like the person at the opposite end answered in the affirmative, and after that those were the only 2 sentences I overheard in the common business language in India.

But here’s one common tie that is rather unusual. I was driving home from office last evening and stopped at a signal where a flyover is under construction. Just as the signal turned green, and like most fellow-drivers, I was about to zoom across, a guy about my age, waved, smiled and exclaimed, ‘Pimpri-Chinchwad!’ It took me some time to understand why he did that since I had never seen him before and from his expression, I read the same about me. But he seemed ecstatic on seeing me.

It was then that I realized, he read my car’s number plate. It is MH 14, that’s a Pimpri-Chinchwad RTO passing. For whatever reason, the guy was glad to have found someone from (possibly) his home town. In the din of honking cars behind me and my own rush to overtake another one, all I could manage was to just wave back at him. I guess that made him happy, for I did notice him speaking to another person and gesturing towards my car, from my rearview mirror.

I bet there are a lot of Maharashtra RTO passed cars in Bangalore (considering that half of this city comprises of tech immigrants) and to the best of my knowledge, the MH series runs from 01 to 43. I myself came across a lot of cars from that series in Bangalore, but never gave them any attention. Drivers with MH 12 series (that’s Pune for the inquisitive) are notorious for their skills. In hindsight, the probability of finding an MH 14 numbered vehicle from amongst all Maharashtra cars is 1 in 43, so mine is indeed a rarity in Bangalore. Maybe that’s why I actually did feel a common tie when the guy waved out; even though I am not from Pimpri-Chinchwad. Nevertheless, it’s good to know someone who associates so closely with MH 14!

Now that’s one creative tie! If you can think of others, feel free to post your comments here. I would love to hear your thoughts on what’s the tie that binds us.

High ground maneuvers

After all the outcry in various public forums over bad signal quality of the iPhone 4, Steve Jobs addressed a press conference, where he said, “We're not perfect. Phones are not perfect. We all know that. But we want to make our users happy."

The PR guys at Apple sure seem to have done a good job; the discussions have suddenly shifted from the iPhone’s antenna problems to debating whether all smart phones face similar issues. Samsung and HTC have already refuted the argument and accused Apple of sidelining the main problem. Apple though played it smart by elevating it from an Apple product problem to a product “category” one and it’s sure to give it enough time to find a solution while keeping tech critics at bay.

Scott Adams, creator of the very popular, and my personal favorite Dilbert series, refers to this as a high ground maneuver and this episode is plucked right from his blog. In his words, “The high ground maneuver involves taking an argument up to a level where you can say something that is absolutely true while changing the context at the same time. Once the move has been executed, the other participants will fear appearing small-minded if they drag the argument back to the detail level. It's an instant game changer."

But then what’s new in this? We have long heard, seen and experienced this in our personal and professional lives. Haven’t we? Just few days back, an aircraft crashed at the Mangalore airport and the usual response from the authorities was, “Well that’s possible at any airstrip that’s located at such a high altitude.” Some nerve to give that kinda response. But it did lead to an enquiry on all airports classified as high risk. And I didn’t hear about what happened to the Mangalore incident ever since.

Leave aside issues that make headlines (although it’s not very difficult for anyone to make headlines these days); high ground maneuvers affect us on a day-to-day basis as well. Like when we don’t get the increment to the extent we expect, our bosses justify that as an industry-wide recession. To rub salt on our wounds, they also expect us to consider ourselves fortunate that we got a (nominal) hike, when industry peers were downsizing. As if our petty paychecks would make any difference to industry numbers when bankers carry home commissions fatter than my annual salary, after sinking millions.

Here are some more illustrations of high ground maneuvers:

• Overheard someone advise another to never look at the price column in a restaurant’s menu. The high (read exorbitant) prices (spin doctored as value) come with the ambience….yeah, and does the food come from the pavement cart?
• Why do you bother tracking your car’s fuel efficiency? This car is not just a means of transportation, it is a status symbol….Is it? I wonder why the girl in the next cubicle never thought so
• Demand for rented apartments in Bangalore is up these days, especially with the IT boom. You have to pay this much for this apartment. Take it or leave it…..But just a few months back, the sun was setting on this very rising sector; wasn’t it?
• Why are you looking at such minor details of this assignment? You need to look at the big picture to grow in your career…..Excuse me? But they do need this data? How about tweaking this report? Aah….Big picture son! Just 3 bullet points!
• And my personal favorite: This new product that you are developing should appeal to everyone – from the corporate basement to the boardroom….Wow! So much for segmentation, targeting and positioning. By the way, this is a true story and the concerned product was stuck in development for 2 years!

So how do you counter-attack such high ground maneuvers? I guess with a higher ground one. Going back to the ‘hike’ illustration – so if my hike is industry dependent, it is function dependent as well. Surely, my peers in the marketing function in other industries got hikes much better than mine. Apparently recession does not affect the function there, then why here? Gotcha? Works at times; though not every time. Works with some, worse with others. Maybe Steve Jobs can carry such maneuvers off with aplomb; others would have to work decades to build that sort of credibility before they attempt such stunts.

While you learn the trick, let’s enjoy yet another anecdote of Apple’s marketing success. Even Dilbert’s friends don’t seem to get enough of this brand! Check out this strip:

Caution: Don’t try a high ground maneuver at home; definitely not with your wife or mother. Some species can see right through it. Worse still, they are much more adept at higher ground maneuvers than you!

A simple symbol for Udaya Kumar. A giant leap for the Indian Rupee?

The Indian Rupee has now got a new symbol that has been designed by D. Udaya Kumar, an IIT graduate. Extremely simple and easy to draw, the symbol reflects the Indian ethos with its Devanagari-styled ‘Ra’, and blends well with the modern world with its double strokes. Check out this video for a more elaborate pitch on what it stands for.



Personally, I quite liked the symbol from a creative perspective and am impressed with the logic behind it. But hey, are we blowing it out of proportion by using it to signify the strength of the Indian economy? I agree we are a trillion dollar economy, one of the fastest growing GDPs, a rising consumer powerhouse, attractive investment destination….and all that babble that I used countlessly while selling India as ‘the place’ to be in all my presentations convincing my firang bosses to approve project fundings. Fact of the matter is, yes we are big…..but are we big enough? And in case of the new symbol of the Indian Rupee, does anyone care enough?

Every politician and media worth its salt has gone gaga over how much this symbol signifies India’s growing economic prowess. Can even one of these stand up and please explain which part of the symbol really tells that? Does the shirorekha stand for it? Nope it is a regular feature in any Devanagari alphabet. Do the double strokes signify it? No. They are a metaphor for equality (ah….the socialists strike again!) and the Indian tricolor. And the ‘Ra’, while an abbreviation for the Rupee, incidentally also looks like ‘R’ from the Roman alphabet. So much for the desi, global Indian or for the striking inspirations as Dan Brown would have put it. Damn…..but I still can’t find the economic strength that they so much tout about.

So where exactly is this or any other currency symbol used? One article states that it is used in financial transactions across the world where they help distinguish between themselves. But then how many countries stock Indian Rupees as their forex reserves? Also used in news articles and currency converters…but then the INR serves the purpose as well. Again, it is not the symbol or the abbreviation that matters. What matters is its value or its worth. What’s important is how much can you buy with X Rupees versus an X Dollar. And no jazzy symbol is going to help you increase that purchasing power.

For now, the symbol is just aspirational. The US Dollar has a symbol, the Euro does and so do the British Pound and the Japanese Yen. Why not the Indian Rupee? The new symbol will definitely draw attention for some time, hopefully create a brand out of the INR just the way the Euro did, but nothing beyond. The Indian currency would not grow stronger versus its American or European counterparts simply because now it has a new symbol. Nor would it become a favored currency to stock due to its fancy symbol. Enough of the jingoism. Let us look at the symbol as a differentiating, short character for the INR / Rs. and be happy that it reflects the Indian ethos, but nothing more.

As for me, I eagerly look forward to type the Indian Rupee symbol using my (possibly) Chinese / Taiwanese assembled keyboard on an American operating system and share it with the world. That should be some pleasure for the creative, cultured Indian in me!